YJL

Have you ever got a feeling for new keyboards? Exciting or simply an appreciation, because you know, right at the moment that you first make a contact with those clean-square-shiningly tiny blocks, it will be put to hard work, so you promise.

Every time when I bought a new one, the very first time when I placed my fingers on them, I got the feeling. I’d tell myself, “I will not eat, not even drink water when using computer!”

A month ago, precisely at 2015-06-01T06:46:14Z or a few moments before, I accidentally waterboarding my keyboard with at least a half of sweet mint tea. If it’s just mint and tea, that would not be too much of trouble, just wait until it dry. Unfortunately, it’s sweet, from orange syrup, actually. Quite delicious, just not good for your electronics.

It yielded, completely without any reservations.

Wishfully hoped that it would come back to life next day, but it didn’t. There was no point to blame the tea or myself, I took out a 15-year-old IBM keyboard as temporary, which has a few keys don’t work, and commenced the Operation KeyWasher.

I was amazed how you could remove all the keytops just with your finger tips, little did I know, there would be consequences after 80-or-90-something keys digging into your finger tips, between nails and fleshes, you will bleed. A little pain, sweat, and blood can’t stop my determination of fixing it. Hours later, it’s all done, dry and clean. Putting all back to their own slots in just under ten minutes.

The result was, as this post should have spoiled, I broke it, even mind you, I was quite proud of myself as I feeling the unpowered, smooth, clean-as-if-new keyboard.

How? While I was cleaning it, examining the plastic circuit sheets, I just went into it, wiping as much as I could and that’s when I broke it. I must have bent it too much and this should not be happening, because less than a year ago, I completely open the laptop in order to clean the fan.

I learned one thing during the cleaning — or murdering — process, my left thumb’s nail had scratched a tiny shallow hole on Win over the years. Must be all the switching DWM tags, the only possibility that I would have the nail directly contact the key surface.

Now come to reminisce the horrifying scenes as I discovered how much “stuff” was stuffed in minuscule gaps and how it could be stickier than the sweet tea. I can suggest a new dare game for college students who live in dorm. This is how it get played, the daree — no such word? — will have to choice a keyboard, which would not be usable afterwards, then someone will pour over a can of beer, then tilt it and catch a shot glass worth of golden liquid coming. With the shouting, encouraging, the daree bottoms up.

I should have remembered that the keyboard is removable as easily as prying a panel and removing two screws. That way, I’d not have to bend the sheets and I probably would have a fully functional keyboard, but not this post.

Too late. So, for about a month, I was using two keyboards, each has its own broken keys. It’s funny to look how I was typing at the times, left hand on one, right on the other.

It was only a week ago, I finally remembered how to remove the keyboard. A whole month, how on Earth I did it that was a mystery.

Went onto the Amazon right away, found the correct part, then I decided to buy more to save shipping, another external keyboard and mouse, both wireless with built-in rechargeable batteries. Thinking they would bring me happiness, then I realized none of them can be shipped internationally.

— my life.

Well, turning into local shopping sites. All sorted out in the end, just didn’t have the same choice of keyboard and mouse. The mouse I was using has its own mind, it likes to double-click or even triple-click for me, the buttons need replacements. Interestingly enough, I decided to clean it up, and then it broke, too. It seems I have a great tendency to break things as I giving them some TLC, how ironic.

By the way, finding a keyboard and a mouse is hard. So many strange designs, I didn’t even know there is a type of vertically ergonomic mouse until a few days ago. Ergonomic? Holding a mouse vertically, it’s just flat out weird to me.

It’s like mission impossible, all you want is to have a down to Earth, standard, typical, single color, no energy wasting backlight, no 10 programmable keys, no odd curves, a simple working keyboard, sending out the electronic signal as you you type, no more no less. Same goes to mouse. In another word, boring, that’s all I want.

My ideal keyboard is 80s but black, rectangular, and robust with brick-looking. As for the mouse, well, it just looks like a mouse, that I can rest my palm on it comfortably, two buttons and one wheel also as middle button.

It’s not asking much, right? Or should I say asking too much less these days? It looks like every manufacturer is trying to make their products looks cool and blinds your eyes at the same time. Why do people need to look at them? When I use computer, my eyes are always on the monitor.

Two days after placing my order, here they are, working as they should be. This new one has a different keytop surface, not entirely smooth as previous one. But I notice one thing, the F is slightly tilting to the left for some reason, barely noticeable. I could feel it because the old one has the same, but I only felt that when the same key would start come off a couple years ago. I thought it was because of long use, apparently not, there must be some design behind. I can even see the surface level is not as high as the keys around it.

The feel of a new keyboard is good. Clean, highly responsive, giving the old laptop a new energy if you will. So the question is not whether would I eat or drink around the new keyboard and mouse, because I already did, but when would they get really dirty and disgusting?

Come back in eight and a half years — that’s how long until I broke those — I should have an answer for you.